Haunted

I have stayed up half the night reading - something I haven't done in a very long time - and I can't sleep yet for fear that what I've read will manifest itself in my dreams. So I will write it down, even though the tears aren't yet dry on my cheeks, and hope that this keeps it from haunting me tonight.

This book was not easy to read and yet I couldn't force myself to put it down. I usually read before bed, but I found myself thinking about the story throughout the day. The story is "fictional," but is one of those stories that rocks you to the core because you know it is an echo of someone's reality - lived long ago, buried deep, but not forgotten. Never forgotten.

It was a novel that followed an 81 year old woman as she slowly - painfully - told her daughters the story of her survival through the Great Terror of the 1930s in Russia and World War II. Did you know that more than 1 million Russians died there? Murdered. 70% of them starved to death. The horrors of mothers placing their children on evacuation trains, not knowing that the trains were heading into the heart of the German invasion. The horrors of mothers watching their children waste away from lack of food and knowing there was nothing they could do to stop it. The horrors.

There are thousands of stories like the "fictional" one I just finished reading. My grandparents and great-grandparents had these stories, maybe not these exact stories, but versions of it from elsewhere in Europe during that awful time. I know they do because I have heard murmurs of the handicapped brother and son who was left behind all those years ago - a memory so locked away that I have heard mention of it only once and even then only after my grandparents had passed away. This history is also my history. That knowledge is heavy and so is the thankfulness that I was not the one who had to survive it; but the fact that someone DID survive it is why I am here today.

What an amazing, and terrible, terrible book. The kind that makes you keep turning the pages, that changes you, but that you never want to pick up again.

Officially Official

Ok first I need to tell you a story. I was babysitting the kids tonight and Morgan(18 months old) was giving the cat, George (affectionately known as Georgie), some "love" to which the cat was responding with swats of the paws. Morgan gets up to walk away and the cat reaches out, hooks his paws around her ankle and trips her. No lie. She picks herself up, turns around and goes, "Georgie! NO!" Darren and I laughed so hard. She was so affronted. The cat defs got the last laugh there. I wish I'd had a video camera.

So I am officially a BC resident. This week I got my BC Care Card (medical coverage) in the mail, got all of my banking finalized and FINALLY got my car insured. It has been an unbelievable process. You see, insurance in BC is uber expensive (because everyone drives like idiots), but you can get a 5% discount on it for each year you have been claims-free (up to 40%). You just have to be able to prove it to them. So I got a claims history letter from Manitoba, but because my car was insured under my dad's name for a few years, my letter only showed that I had 3.5 years of driving history. The result would be only a 15% discount and insurance premiums that were double what I paid in Manitoba. I wasn't ok with that. So, to make a long story short, I (and my dad...probably more my dad) did a bunch of calling around, eventually resorted to calling the MLA and we managed to get ICBC to agree to give me a full 40% discount if I provided a Driver's Abstract. So I FINALLY got that on Friday. The plates are on my car.

The relief is physical. I feel as though a weight has been lifted off me. I will randomly remember that everything is done and I get a little bubble of excitement in my tummy. It just feels so good to be finished the process. Hallelujah.

I also went and got a library card today. I was waiting for my driver's license to come so I could prove my local address. I am so excited to read again. I haven't really had time in the past 3 months and now I have access to a library and I have 4 books to read in the next 3 weeks. Hallelujah.