Grow up, Dana

Ok, my temper tantrum from the other day is over. I am back to acting like a mid-20s adult. Me and God just had some working out of things to do. I've been reminded that He knows what He's doing and I can let Him resume control.

I have this mantra that I am repeating these days. It calms me down when the 3 year old in me wants to stamp my feet and dissolve into a fit of angry, irrational tears. It goes:

God is sovereign
His timing is perfect
I am exactly where I am supposed to be
Because I am exactly where He is

I was questioning God's goodness for a couple days there. How I can question that in light of all He has brought me through in the past two-ish years is beyond me, but sometimes I lose sight of the big picture and all that He has done and is doing and just focus on what it appears He isn't doing. The bigger picture is in a little clearer focus now and I can remember that God is good and has good things for me. Where I am right now in my life is exactly where I should be because God is here with me. That's important for me to remember.

Another of His favourite reminders for me is:

"Be still and know that I am God"

Oh yeah.

Weary

Have you ever felt like you just don't want to continue fighting? Like the journey is just too much at this moment? Like you just want to sit down where you are and hang your head in defeat?

That's where I am today.

The Golden Years

I was thinking this morning that I am really going to miss these years when they're over. Now, hear me out before you get all up in my business about being pessimistic.

I am the first to admit that these days I'm a little impatient to be dating someone. Now that everything is over with Justin, I can FINALLY say that I am ready. But that's not something I can force to have happen, so I will continue to learn my lesson in patience. But when you start dating someone, it changes the rest of your friendships. And I absolutely adore my girls these days.

Once we're all married and all that jazz we don't get to live together anymore, unless our husbands are really cool about a lot of things. Me thinks that's highly unlikely.

But I'm really gonna miss living with some of my best friends and I'm determined to enjoy this for however much longer it lasts. Cuz I'm never gonna get it back.

In other news, I just looked and my blog profile has been viewed 680 times. Last time I looked it was around 250ish I think. Who's stalking me?!

Come ON already

Excuse me, is this thing on??

ATTENTION, SUMMER. YOU HAVE MISSED YOUR CUE. GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE AND START DOING YOUR JOB.

Thank you.

I'm Lovin' It

Isn't life awesome? I love being able to say that as someone who has experienced depression and discontentment with my life. I love being able to have peace about the future, knowing Who is in control. I love looking ahead to what's coming with anticipation. I love looking at what's happening right now and bask in its awesomeness. I love looking back at where I've been, seeing how far I've come and praising Jesus that I made it out in one piece.

A year ago my heart hurt so badly and the night was still dark. Today my heart is healed, as is my relationship (now a friendship) with J. It is lovely to know that I survived that and became a better person for it.

I have friends who mean the world to me, who make life brighter and who are proof of God's love for me. I thank Him every day for them.

I have a family who, while being far away, support me and encourage me in everything I do. After struggling to find my place in this family, I love the security I now find there. I love that my sister and I have formed a special kind of friendship in our adulthood; our conversations are now borne out of shared experiences and life lessons and this is a blessing.

I have a job that I love most of the time (I say "most of the time" for a reason. Don't get me wrong, I have an awesome job and I can't believe I get paid to do some of the things I do. I work with a fabulously supportive team and my boss is one of the best I've ever had. It's just there are some areas of my job that require skills that are not my strengths and this is frustrating sometimes). I am in the profession of helping people which is exactly where I want to be.

Life is so good today. Summer is on it's way, holidays are coming and I'm happy, baby!

This Moment Brought to You by Humiliation Central

As I was leaving my hairdresser's today she said "You've got something stuck to your bum!". With that embarassed feeling making my stomach feel all yucky, I felt around and pulled off a sticker. Turns out the sizing sticker from the new t-shirt I decided to wear today managed to adhere itself to my behind.

That's just what I need - to go around advertising my ass as XL.

Hold the Phone

So, as it turns out, I'm a grown-up. That happened sometime in the past 10 years without me realizing it.

25 is looming. Looming. I mean it's 6 months away, but to me, that's still looming. 25 means 5 years till I'm 30. I want to marry someone older than me prefferably, which means he'll be even closer to 30 than me. Eeegads.

I've realized recently that now that I'm done my BA (and have been done for a year, I might add), I should probably think about the next step. Logically that seems to be grad school, but I don't feel old enough to be thinking about grad school. Then I realize that if I had done my BA in 4 years like you're supposed to instead of 6, I could conceivably be finished my masters by now and that really makes me shit the proverbial brick.

Let's just back this bus up a bit here and figure out where the hank time went.