I really hate the dark. Since I was young I’ve had a rather irrational fear of the dark. Our dark basement terrified me. If I was ever left home alone, my parents would come home to find every single light in the house on. Now that I pay electrical bills, I understand their frustration with me. The worst possible thing you could do is make me play a game outside in the dark, especially the dark forest. My friends tried this in Bible School. I stood on the path swinging a very large branch around.
When I drive in the dark, my eyes don’t seem to work as well and I get frustrated. My house has very stupid lighting. There are not light fixtures in any of the bedrooms, so I have a floor lamp and a string of mini lights – only half of which work. I get frustrated.
I think both my fear and my frustration with darkness stem from my need to be in control. I feel very out of control in the dark, I can’t see very well, I never know what’s lurking just beyond the edges of what I can see. Suffice it to say I would be a very awful blind person.
Have you ever felt as though you are standing in a pitch black room and there is only one small circle of light and you are standing in the middle of it? You can’t see anything past the edge of the circle. This is often how I feel in life.
I’ve come to realize that God is in that pitch black room and that circle of light is His gift of grace to me. I can’t see beyond it’s edges but it lights enough to keep me safe. Even if I move, that circle of light stays with me. When God calls me forward, the light moves with me, illuminating enough of the path that I am safe. I often have fear over not knowing what is in front of me, not knowing what is surrounding me out there in the darkness, but in His light, I can see. And that’s enough for me.
Psalm 143:8 – “Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.”
When I drive in the dark, my eyes don’t seem to work as well and I get frustrated. My house has very stupid lighting. There are not light fixtures in any of the bedrooms, so I have a floor lamp and a string of mini lights – only half of which work. I get frustrated.
I think both my fear and my frustration with darkness stem from my need to be in control. I feel very out of control in the dark, I can’t see very well, I never know what’s lurking just beyond the edges of what I can see. Suffice it to say I would be a very awful blind person.
Have you ever felt as though you are standing in a pitch black room and there is only one small circle of light and you are standing in the middle of it? You can’t see anything past the edge of the circle. This is often how I feel in life.
I’ve come to realize that God is in that pitch black room and that circle of light is His gift of grace to me. I can’t see beyond it’s edges but it lights enough to keep me safe. Even if I move, that circle of light stays with me. When God calls me forward, the light moves with me, illuminating enough of the path that I am safe. I often have fear over not knowing what is in front of me, not knowing what is surrounding me out there in the darkness, but in His light, I can see. And that’s enough for me.
Psalm 143:8 – “Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.”
1 comments:
well it's about time. sheesh. i've been getting bored on this site because i have few things to read. other than "stuff christians like". which is good, but not always as good as reading words from people i actually know.
thanks for this by the way. your reflection was good for my heart to read.
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