Change is Inevitable (except from a vending machine)

Big changes are adrift, people. I'm moving. I am moving. I am moving. I, the one who loathes change, have set in motion a giganto-normous change in my life. I am le-scared, if you will.

The past 6 or 8 months have been hard being so far away from my family. My parents moved to BC about a year and a half ago and that's also where my brother and his family are. My sister is in Alberta and I have zero family here in Manitoba. That's hard, especially when you value family like I do. I began to realize that I would never get to know my neices and nephew and play a real role in their lives if I didn't live closer. I also realized that life is short and you never know how much time you'll have left with the people you love.

So, I took a deep breath and started keeping an eye out for jobs. I wasn't overly hopeful that I would find anything - the job market in BC is not great right now - but I wanted to keep an eye out at the Christian institutions there, just in case. I was on Facebook one day and I noticed that a woman who worked at my former Bible school was pregnant with twins and it flashed into my mind that her job would be coming open, even if it was just for a mat leave. I started praying then and there - I knew her job (Financial Aid Officer) would be a perfect fit for me and I wanted it.

Fast forward 3 ish months: after much waiting and uncertainty (along with emotional ups and downs as I tried to fathom actually leaving my life in Winnipeg), I accepted the job and solidified the decision to move west.

It feels like a gigantic leap of faith. It was literally the hardest decision I've made since choosing to break up with Justin. Both were equally hard decisions (although it remains to be seen if the road after is as hard...I don't think it will be...hopefully). There wasn't necessarily a "win-win" option in this case. On the one hand I would get to be closer to my family and I would get to be in BC, which I love. On the other hand, I would get to keep my friends, who are so dear to me and such a blessing in my life, and stay involved in a church that has nurtured me. It seemed like an impossible decision for a long time. No matter what road I chose, it was going to be hard.

But God really put this job in my lap. They weren't interviewing anyone else but me. It was clear about 10 minutes into the interview that they were planning on offering me the job. It appeared that it was mine to lose. And God gave me peace.

So now I am faced with packing up my life here (which I haven't been able to bring myself to actually start) and saying goodbye. I am filled with excitement and fear and it depends on what day you catch me on as to which wins out. I am not afraid of the job because it is so perfect for my strengths. I am not afraid of having no one because my family is there. But I am afraid of having to start over in building friendships. I am afraid of having to find another church and working to make it home.

I don't know what life there will look like, but I do know this:

"Trust" is not knowing the outcome but believing that, because God is sovereign, the outcome will be inherently good.