23, The Golden Year?

Hello friends, I'm back. After a lengthy hiatus from blogging, I am thinking I may make return every now and again. I've even updated my blog and made it all pretty and things. Don't you like it? I know you do.

Life has been interesting of late. How do I even begin? I've been rereading old blogs that I've written and have been marvelling at how much I have changed. A little more than a year ago I had a bit of a mini life-crisis before I turned 22. Perhaps you remember this post? I realized that I was very dissatisfied with how I was living my life and when I turned 22 I reevaluated what was important to me and who I wanted to be. My motto for the year was "a whole new me by 23."

I see now that that was perhaps a large goal, but the year proved to be very interesting and life-changing. Much of my time was occupied by a certain boy and that was fun. Perhaps a little all-consuming, but fun none-the-less. I loved dating and I loved being in love. I am made for relationship and that is now clear.

However, I was becoming increasingly frustrated with the lack of direction in my life. I had struggled for the past three years to determine a professional goal and my job in the financial industry just was not challenging me. Slowly, (although it seemed very sudden!) God began nudging me in the direction of vocational ministry. I've always said I never wanted to be a pastor. Never say never.

God has awakened in me this huge passion for people and ministry and developing leaders. I returned to school this year to finish my BA in Theology, this time with a clearer purpose. I have become involved in my church, in worship and small group development, and while I am terrified of actually getting paid to do this, I am learning to trust God to guide me.

I feel as though I have come into my own. When I turned 23 a month ago, my friends told me, "23 is the best year yet." At the time I had a hard time believing them. 23 started out pretty rough. Working through a break-up with someone I loved passionately was the hardest thing I've done yet, despite my clear understanding that it was the right thing. It is a horrific thing, to have to adjust to life without someone you loved and I cannot fathom the pain of a divorce or widowhood. I have had only the smallest glimpse of that pain and I could barely stand up under it at times.

However, like they all told me, time does heal. Oh, I'm not healed yet, but God has started to reawaken me with His joy. I have a new appreciation for myself, something I've never felt until now. I am proud of myself for listening to God's call in my life and making a very hard choice, for having the courage to stand in the middle of the pain and for refusing to back down in the eye of the storm. I have a direction for my life, one that is taking me on a journey of living God's will, a life of obedience. I have amazing friends and feel love pouring over me from many directions. I am blessed. And God is faithful.