Is there such a thing? If there is I think I might have it. Somehow I don't think the pharmacy sells an over-the-counter pill for it...
I'm going through a dry spell spiritually. God doesn't feel all that close and it seems like a far hike to get back. I'm having a hard time wanting to pray and when I do, my prayers seem to hit the ceiling and fall right back into my lap. Lately I've been involved in lots of meetings where I am forced to pray out loud. I used to not mind that so much. Now I loathe it. I can't think of anything to say and everything feels so disjointed. Even my body feels weird...my eyes are closed but I feel like everything is spinning. I don't like it.
One of my goals this year was to read through the Bible. I did really well for january and february. I haven't touched my Bible much since then and I know it is a root cause of the spiritual desert I find myself in. But now I'm so far behind I feel like I can't catch up.
This just leaves me so frustrated. I'm working in a church for goodness sake...I'm technically a pastor right now! Pastors aren't supposed to be in a spiritual desert. The mountain just looks so steep...
I am just so grouchy today.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Spiritual PMS
Posted by Dana at 1:08 PM
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3 comments:
One of the things I learned at CBC while studying worship leading is this: "you cannot lead people to a place you have not been." And in ministry you will encounter many dehydrated Christians...
Hope that's encouraging. :)
So I typed some big long thing up yesterday but it erased and I was both frustrated and tired. So here goes again...
The pastor of the church/school I was at for my first two weeks in Cambodia doesn't usually feel the need to warn people in advance that he's going to include them in the church service. 2 minutes before I had to go up, I found out I was doing the big prayer in church in front of a lot of people. I definitely had moments where I had to try not to laugh super hard at my own word fumblings into the microphone...
On a way more relevant note, I just wanted to say that it's much better for a pastor to admit their dessert times than to be in denial of them. I hope this time helps you grow, and also ends soon! LOVE YOU!!!!
Hmmm last time I checked pastors were actually flesh and blood humans...weird huh?? Poke another pastor just to make sure but I think you're supposed to remain human through the pastoral process.
Don't hate the dry times darling, your prayers aren't hitting anything accept the ears of Christ who's beside you...I don't think they make it to the ceiling.
I know how you feel though hun, but seriously does Christ want you to beat yourself up about it? Is there really anything to beat yourself up about?? The God who made us is obviously understanding to when we feel dry. Perhaps this is an unexpected time for growth and learning :).
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