Phobo-mania

I hate bugs. I mean, really really hate them. I wish it were funny, but to me it's not, it's just disturbing. I've never been much of a girly-girl but bugs...I can't do bugs.

It's not all bugs really, I can handle most of them, most of them time. I mean I never like them crawling on me and get really freaked out if I find them in my room or, worse, in my bed **shudder** but I can usually handle them.

Manitoba has a few species of bugs that I cannot handle. I have a paralyzing fear of wood ticks and get the MAJOR heebie-jeebies around cankerworms. These are bugs that I did not know about prior to moving to this horrid province (Note: I know I recently said that Manitoba was home but a)I really only like it from September to October when there are neither bugs nor frigid temperatures; and b) it's the people who make it feel like home...I actually care very little for the province itself). I was not aware that Alberta had ticks or cankerworms although my parents assure me they were there. Ticks are apparently in Indian Battle Park but we never went down there during their season. And there must have been cankerworms because my parents say that I am just like my grandma...if there are worms hanging off the trees she doesn't go outside.

Wood ticks are impossible to kill and burrow their tiny little heads into your skin and suck your blood until they are fat and red. **shhhhuuuudddder** They hide in inconspicous places like behind ears, in your hair and in your nether-regions. People try to tell me that they only live in long grasses out in the countryside. They lie. True, I have never seen one in the city but my friend said he got one from the field across from our house and that's enough for me. I stick to the pavement.

Wood tick season is generally from May to June and as if that's not bad enough, in June the cankerworms come out. They spend all spring eating the leaves of all the trees and when they are nice and full they rappel from the trees from thin strings. So you're walking along and all of the sudden you are surrounded by these little green worms hanging off of the trees. **shhhhuuuudddder**

So you see, neither the grass nor the pavement is safe from disgusting bugs.

Last night I was at a barbeque and I found it impossible to enjoy myself. I was tense the entire time. You see, this yard was well shaded by trees. Cankerworm trees. I could see them hanging down just waiting to land on me. What's worse is that every so often you would think that you felt teeny tiny raindrops on you. Only it wasn't raining. The damn worms were peeing on me. And if that's not bad enough, I would look down and see these little black round things all over, on my clothes, on my plate, in my hair, everywhere. It was raining worm shit too! I wonder how much worm feces I ate last night. I just don't want to think about it.

This is enough to confine me to my house until these bugs are gone. Only once they're gone the mosquitoes come. Thankfully mosquitoes don't like me that much and neither do they disgust me like the aforementioned.

I think something is wrong with me. It's not just a minor annoyance with these insects...I quite literally will just stay in my house to avoid them. Does anyone have any advice? Can anyone just make the bugs go away? Help me.