The Uphill Journey

Well, things are on the up and up, it seems. I still have a long way to go, but I also realize that this is a life-long journey that I am not expecting to perfect. However, I have made some progress out of the spiritual desert. And for that I am thankful.

It actually had a lot to do with the sermon I've been working on the last few weeks. I really don't enjoy preaching a whole lot. Actually, it's the writing that I don't like. I've always been good at it, but it just drains me and makes me act like I have adult ADD. I don't mind the speaking as much, although the nerves that happen right before are unpleasant. But once I get up there and start speaking I'm just fine. I'm also a good faker so people can't usually tell that I'm nervous. That's a blessing. The last thing I want is to make people feel anxious for me because I'm displaying anxiety. Have you ever felt that? You know the person up there is nervous or not comfortable, or they're really bombing up there and you get that yucky knot in your stomach too? I don't like doing that to people.

ANYways...long detour there. My church is doing a family series right now and I preached on family blessing, based on 2 Samuel 7 where king David tells God that he is going build him a temple and God says "no i'm going to build you a house" which was really a covenant he made with David ensuring the rule of his family forever, which came true with the birth of Jesus, the Eternal King. Talk about family blessing!

I then related this to how God is blessing our family as well...he has created His family and we are members in it. When we think of that stark grace that God is pouring out by establishing his covenant with us, it is overwhelming and we ask, just like David asked, "Why me? Who am I? What makes me so special that God would choose me?"

We are not perfect, but neither was David and God chose him. God chose us. Talk about family blessing.

If you want you will be able to listen to my sermon here. It's not posted up there yet, but keep checking...it should go up this week sometime. I wouldn't say that it's the best sermon I've written, but I would say that it is what God put on my heart to say. Maybe I say it's not my best sermon because I haven't heard a ton of feedback on it and I am insecure still in my preaching abilities and so I feel slightly nervous about how it's all perceived. All that aside, I do feel that this was the message God gave me to say last Sunday and that is all I could ever hope for.

So it was through writing and thinking about this that God drew me back to him. When I finally made the final connection in my brain (which eventually happens during the sermon-writing process) it really stopped me in my tracks. It just kept running over and over in my mind "God chose me. He chose me. He chose me." It was a wonderful realization. I'm not perfect and yet God chose me. And it made me excited about my faith again. That brings joy where before I felt empty.