This is Your Life

At my roommate's wedding two weeks ago, there was a slideshow. It was put together by her brother and, like all wedding slide shows, contained pictures of her and her new husband. The song her brother chose to play as these pictures scrolled through struck me in the weirdest way and I haven't been able to get it out of my head. The song was "This is Your Life" by Switchfoot. Now, I don't normally like posting song lyrics because it's so overdone, but one line of the chorus has been running through my head the past two weeks and it's really a very simple statement:
"This is your life, are you who you want to be?"
That's it. That's what it is. The rest of the lyrics to the song are mediocre, in fact, some of them don't really make much sense at all, but that line, that one line which is sung over and over, really hit me. This is my life. This is what I've got. Am I the person I want to be? The question isn't, "am I the person I want people to perceive me as being?", it's "is this who I want to be?" I have to differentiate that in my mind because that is a large struggle that God has brought me through in recent years, the whole life struggle of worrying about what other people think of me, and while I'm not totally there 100% of the time, I am happy to report that most of the time I don't really give a rip what people think of me.
But I care what God thinks of me. And I care if I am living up to my committment to being a woman of God and to be honest, I don't think that I have lived up to that in the past 2 years or so. I've made stupid decisions about how to spend my time and money, invested emotions into relationships I knew were bad, and have not lived as though I represent Christ. This realization makes me sad.
A friend asked me tonight what my dreams and goals were for this coming year. Having no idea what I want to do for a career or even where I will be working one month from now, I found that I had a hard time answering this question. But as I listened to the girls talk honestly about wanting to spend more time with God in the coming year, I realized that my goal and biggest dream this year is to start making life choices that reflect who I want to be. And who I want to be is a woman of God.
So this is my life. Am I who I want to be? Well, not exactly. But at least I'm going to do something about it.

Landslide

Uh huh. Those are the Dixie Chicks. For real. I saw them. They waved at me. They think I am cool.
I went to their show last night with my friends. Now, let's just set the record straight: I do not like country music. In fact, I detest it. I do whatever I can to avoid it. So, obviously, when my roommate asked me to go to the Dixie Chicks concert I said yes. No, actually I semi-laughed and said, "well, I sure wouldn't pay money to see them". Another thing you should know, I have always thought that the Dixie Chicks were especially obnoxious-sounding country musicians. So, "no", I said, "I don't want to waste my money on their concert". "oh," Alicia said, "well, my dad offered me four tickets for the Cargill box for the concert." Sweet."Heck yes," I said. I don't have to pay money to see them. Neither do I have to deal with people on the floor. Because we had BOX seats. It really pays to be connected to a high-ranking executive of a major corporation. It also helps if that person connected to the high-ranking executive is you roommate who loves you. It ALSO helps if said people are extremely generous. Which they are. w00t.
Anyways, we went and I was supremely impressed. This doesn't mean that I have converted to a country music fan, I still detest it as much as yesterday, but I have a huge respect for those three women we know as the Dixie Chicks. The musicality they possess is inspiring. They each play a myriad of instruments and play them very very well. They rip out vocals like it's nobody's business, and they genuinely seem to have fun. What's more, they look smokin hot doing it. Seriously. I applaud their hotness. They strutted the stage, playing their fiddles and banjos, for over 2 hours, in stillettos. Not a word of a lie. Huge, hot stillettos. H-O-T. I strive for hotness like that.
So, my point is, the Dixie Chicks have an unbelievable amount of musical talent. I can't deny that. Do I still think that Natalie Maines has an obnoxious voice? Yes. But their songs wouldn't sound the same without it. And she sings so effortlessly, it's impossible not to admire her. Last night made me remember why I am so in love with music. As if I could forget. Although the guy that is trying to sing on Canadian Idol right now is making me wish I didn't have ears. Pain. Lots and lots of pain.

At Last

I have been told that I don't post blogs often enough. Do I post less often than others? Perhaps. But the thing is, my life really isn't that interesting! Everybody always has interesting, funny stories to tell in their blogs. Me? Nothing funny or interesting happening really. But if an update is what you want, then an update is what you will get. (This is for you Tiff. Don't blame me if you get bored).
The last couple of weeks have bee fairly quiet. Just working and hanging out with friends. Actually, working has been nice because we have AIR CONDITIONING. I love AIR CONDITIONING. (I'm thinking that by putting AIR CONDITIONING in capital letters, you will truly understand how I feel about it). I love it. Mostly because I don't have it at home and it is hot. Very, very hot. I spend a lot of time at friends houses who have AIR CONDITIONING. (Don't worry guys, I'm not using you, I love being at your houses). So work has been great. Also, I should be getting full-time soon which means I get to spend 37.5 hours a week in AIR CONDITIONING.
Friends have been great as well. I spent the July long weekend at Alicia's cabin with some of her family (and her of course). We had a fabulous time. We hung out, read books, played games, went to church in the boat (seriously, lake-side church is an experience!) and generally relaxed. It was great. Then last weekend Alicia invited 8 of our other friends out there for the weekend and I joined them on Saturday after work. We had a good time of hanging out, playing games, lounging/napping/conversing in the conversation pit and again, just generally relaxing (with some other drama moments thrown in). So overall, a fabulous couple of weekends.
I've had the last couple days off and they have been productive. Yesterday I cleaned my entire house, which, while it was hot, sweaty work without AIR CONDITIONING, felt great to finally live in a clean place again. And then I got to hang out with friends who I don't see nearly often enough. Today I worked on my sunburn. Unfortunately I got ridiculous tan lines after my kayaking excursion with Heather in BC and I need to even them out before my roommate's wedding next month. So I was outside for a good hour and a half. Behind our house is a ditch/canal/whatever filled with water with grassy banks and that is where I parked myself. Except as soon as I laid down I immediately saw things crawling in the grass. I hate bugs. I am not much of a girly girl, but I do detest creepy crawlies. So I spent my hour and a half trying to convince myself that whatever was crawling in the grass was not ticks and that if I left them alone, they would leave me alone. And they did for the most part. I also got to watch the baby ducks! All of the sudden this whole passel of baby ducks came waddling up the bank towards me. I watched them come closer and closer and began to get concerned that the mama would get mad at me for being there, even though I clearly was there first. So I calmly stood up and slipped on my sandals so I could make a run for it if she got really mad (in my mind I just kept seeing Kev being attacked by that loon at the lake, and decided I didn't want a similar experience). But the duckies turned and waddled away, chattering amongst themselves all the while. Too cute for real life. So that was my suntanning experience. I came in slightly pink. Hopefully it won't be too bad, and it will even out those lines. Everyone, start praying now.
In other news, I got a job today. Staples called back and offered me a job, without having the third interview. Woot. So I start sometime next week. Which is good because I got my Visa bill today and nearly had a heart attack.
So all in all it's been a productive few days. I hope everyone has enjoyed this update. I am coming to realize that there are people reading my blogs who I didn't know were reading my blogs, which is great! Please leave comments so I know you are interested in what I'm writing. Sweet.

Two Shots of Happy, One Shot of Sad

I had an interesting day at work today. It was pick-on-Dana day apparently. First, I was looking at our loans officers calendars to see what their days looked like and I noticed that Kevin had an appointment booked at 5 with Matt Dusk for a mortgage. I sat there and looked at it and just thought...no it couldn't be Matt Dusk the singer. So I decided I would just go ask, just to make sure. Well Kevin was on the phone, so I asked Grant. And Grant confirmed that, yes, it was Matt Dusk the singer and he had decided that since he had so many concerts in Winnipeg all the time that he would just buy a house here. I got really excited. Like, I mean excited. I got that nervous/excited feeling in my stomach and I was EXCITED. I also jokingly (well mostly jokingly) said that I was going to go home and get his CD so he could sign it for me. No, I wouldn't have actually gotten his autograph. At least I don't think so. Anyways, after all this excitement, Grant told me he was lying to me. Ass. No Matt Dusk for me.
So then there was the flower fiasco. My co-worker Erin got a dozen roses from her boyfriend yesterday (lucky girl, it happens about once a month). So we were all fighting about who got to enjoy them at their own desk. Isabel won for a while and had the flowers on her desk. All the members were asking about the beautiful flowers an Isabel lied to every single one. She told them it was her birthday, her anniversary, totally lied and passed them off as her own. We all had a good laugh until Erin stole her flowers back. Crap. So Isabel comes back from her lunch break with two dozen white long stem roses, which she gave to me! So I put them on my desk and enjoyed everyone's compliments on them. Except Isabel kept lying to them for me! She told them it was my birthday, that it was my grad anniversary, all kinds of things. One lady commented on them, and Isabel said they were from my boyfriend. "Oh wow" the lady said, "you must be very loved." And I just smiled. By then end of the day Isabel was telling people that these roses were from my second boyfriend. Apprently I had just gotten a second boyfriend and he was sending me flowers so I would pick him over my other boyfriend. She was lying out of her teeth! So I started the day today as a single woman and finished it as a woman with two dozen roses and two boyfriends. Sweet.

Hold On

Did I mention that I dressed my nephew in a little girl's onesie? I laughed at me, my sister-in-law laughed at me. My brother yelled at me.

The Sound of Fear

We live in a messed up world. Terrorist plots in Toronto, bird flu pandemics, murderers and rapists being set free every day despite their likelihood to re-offend...Shalom is a non-existent fantasy these days it seems.

One of our branches was robbed last week. I didn't hear about it until yesterday when it was reported that the same guy appeared in another of our branches yesterday. He left without incident, but shortly thereafter another bank in the near vicinity was hit. There were two other bank robberies in Winnipeg within two hours of that first one. The last one was violent. The guy was on the counter, waving a knife and demanding money. Those are not the kind of robberies you want(not that you ever want any kind of robbery), they are very traumatic. Anyways, makes me fearful. I've fortunately never experienced a robbery, but in my line of work, it's not a matter of "if", it's "when". So, prayers for safety are always appreciated.

Picture Perfect

Everyone, I would like you to meet my brand new nephew, Caleb Scott Petker. He was born on June 5, 2006 at 9:34 BC time, weighing in at 7 lb, 6 oz and just about 21 inches long. Everyone is happy and healthy from what I have heard and the entire family is ecstatic. I talked to my mom last night and she was nearly turned inside out with delight. I think even my dad teared up at the news. I know I sure did.

I can't believe that my brother is a daddy. The thought brings tears to my eyes. Good tears. Happy tears. Very proud tears. You have no idea how hard it is to not be there. When Darren called to tell me, I mean, I could tell him that I loved him and Judi, but it's just not the same as being there with them and sharing in their joy. My parents are already on their way out there...in fact they should be nearly there. What I wouldn't give to be able to see my mom and dad's faces the first time they hold their first grandchild. Oh gosh...the tears.

Anyways, I just wanted to share my joy with everyone. I get to go and snuggle him in 2 weeks and I just can't wait. Now I need to go find him lots of cute baby clothes, hopefully of the John Deere and Calgary Flames variety...

WOOHOO I'M AN AUNTIE!!!!!

The Unforgettable Fire

We had an intersting adventure today. I was in the kitchen, cooking, because that is generally what you do in a kitchen, when my roommate Alicia joined me. She also began cooking and set a pot of water on the stove to boil. This is usually an uneventful procedure, however, in our house, things that get spilled on the stove don't necessarily get cleaned up. When we turn on the elements it usually smells a little bit, sometimes there is a bit of smoke, but there is not often much action in our kitchen. However, today, there were flames. That's right, FLAMES. Not the Calgary Flames, but holy crap, that would be a happy day if Jarome Iginla, Mikka Kipprusoff, and Dion Phaneuf showed up in my house. Anyways, fire. We had a fire. Alicia and I remained very calm. In fact, neither of us moved for a good 30 seconds or so. Then she commented very calmly, "hmm, that element is on fire." And then she picked up her pot and just watched the flames a bit. So I, also mesmerized by the growing fire, suggested, "the pot lid?" and she said, "yeah, maybe try that." So i picked up the pot lid and put it over the fire. But when I lifted the lid there were still flames. So I put the pot lid back down. And picked it up. The flames were still there, a little bigger this time perhaps. Tried the pot lid again. And again. And once more. It was a bit loud, me banging the pot lid on the stove and it wasn't even putting out the fire, so I decided I would maybe abandon the pot lid idea. So there I stood, with a blackened pot lid in my hand, there my roommate stood, with a pot of water in her hand, and both of us still very calmly watching the growing flames. So I suggested, "baking powder?"
And Alicia said, "baking powder? really?"
And I said, "yeah, in case it's a grease fire!"
And she said, "well sure, try that,"
But we couldn't find the baking powder. She still had a pot of water and I still had a pot lid and it didn't occur to us to put either of them down. But eventually, we found it and I dumped some on the fire. Nope, not a grease fire. So the baking powder actually increased the size of the flames.
So at this point I began to get slightly concerned about our abilities to put this fire out. So I yelled, kind of loudly, "FIRE!". And our other roommate came downstairs to see what the commotion was about and what was causing our house to fill with smoke.
Anyways, after all this excitement, the fire came to a quiet and very uneventful end. This is to say, it burned itself out. So no hot firefighters had to come, but at least it all ended without any damage.